Things I can do now that I have healthcare!!!

Its official!  Portions of the health care reform bill go into effect today. There are so many ridiculously awesome things that I can do now that I couldn't do before.  Like:

Downhill sewer kayaking

Start roof jumping again.

Try to fight all of the animals down at Sibley park.

Baby sheep boxing. (this ones not really dangerous.....but it is awesome!)

Start Napboarding.  (similar to sleepskating...involves lots of NyQuil and red bull)

Furby smuggling (please don't ask why this is dangerous.....I'd rather not say..)

Try to fight all the animals at Sibley park while blindfolded.  (the animals are blindfolded.....not me.)

Siphon and resell gasoline.  (the tricky part is getting paid before you pass out.)

High speed Moon Shoe Treadmill racing.

No longer get denied coverage for a pre-existing condition.

Dolphin Boarding  (ya screw a skateboard to the bottom of a dolphin...the hard part is stopping)

Eat only tacos and chocolate milk for a week straight.  (finally we can combine milk sale Mondays and taco Tuesdays!!!!!)

Eat hard shell tacos without warming up the shells first.  (ya ...that's right....I'm hardcore)

Start an organic porcupine milking farm. (makes great extra sharp cheddar....hehe.)

Blind, urban, underground mystery water snorkeling.

Eat eggs.

Get a construction papercut tattoo.

Urban downhill apartment rollerblading

Try to fight the animals at Sibley park after giving them weapons. (knives, bats, grenades.....you name it.....BRING IT YOU FURRY FU*#ERS!!)

Okay that's enough animal cruelty jokes....I really do love animals!....I just make questionable decisions sometimes. : ).   If your not a fan of ANY sort of health care reform then you are a heartless person who doesn't care about me doing super fun awesome things!......that is all.

Danny

Things you can do with an engineering degree!

There is the obvious one of getting an engineering job, but hey maybe I don't wanna be a copy cat and do everything that everyone else does.  So here are some other things that you can do with it! 

French fry analysis and quality assurance technician.  TGIF LLC.

Associate beverage preparation and pouring engineer. PE  Caribou Inc.

Wendy's CORPS of Sandwicheers.  Wendy's Group

You can also make charts and graphs that no one understands......like so:

There is really no point to said charts except to confuse people, and make a select few cry.  Sometimes I like to use big words like analytical and viscoelasticity....even if I can't spell them.

You can integrate the time spent wasting time divded by the time spent looking for a job and calculate that it really doesn't even matter.  Tswt/Tslfj dt....because the more you look for a job...the fewer there actually are...trust me I've done the research

Sometimes I use it to attempt to make people look stupid even if I am completey making stuff up......so I guess you could call that self esteem boosting.

In general, you can advocate for things that others can't, no matter your actual qualifications.  For Example:

person 1:  Dude I don't know about this....I mean I've never really jumped a car over anything before but it just seems like its probably a bad idea.

person 2:  Trust me, I have an engineering degree.

person 1:  but we just filled up with gas and the trunk is filled with kerosene and baby kittens tied to strike anywhere matches...

person 2:  TRUST ME!!!!!

person 1:  .....ok

Time saving tip:  Changing your pants takes a lot of time.  We all know that.  One way to speed up this process is to leave your shoes on.  It takes the average american 30.6 seconds to tie there shoes (2 minutes 38 seconds for Canadiens).  It takes, on average, 42.8 seconds to untie and retie your shoes while changing your pants.  Say you change your pants 3 times per day.  That equates to 128.4 seconds per day!  You could save yourself 898.8 seconds per week.  3595.2 seconds per month.  43142.4 seconds per year.  The average american life expectancy is 78.3 years.  That means that you could get back 938.34 hours from your life.  What will you do with your extra time?.........buy a t-shirt maybe???

Danny

"That is what she presumably aforementioned."

Adjusting from college life is no easy task.  One of the hardest things I have had to deal with......that's what she said.... is figuring out when it is appropriate to make inappropriate comments. Case in point: That's what she said.

I don't think a day of my life has gone by since beginning college where I haven't uttered that beautiful four syllable phrase.  If you are unfamiliar here is an example:

Person 1: (talking about the wind) "I like it when its behind me but not when its blowing in my face."

Me:  "That's what she said."

or

Person 1: "I bet we could fit the rest of them in there if we really try."


Person 2: "That's what she said!"

or

Every gas station pump:  "Thanks, please come again."

Me:  "That's what she said!"  (haha this one gets me every time)

o

Persona uno: "Tomó cuatro personas para que lo baje"

Persona dos:  "que es lo que dijo."

Anyways you get the point.  There are many times and places when it is appropriate to be inappropriate.  I am not entirely sure how to tell yet, but I will learn.  When in doubt you can always class it up a little bit by saying " Haha mmmm yes.....that is what she presumably aforementioned."...insert awkward silence. 

Today's interesting fact:  Do you know why dolphins are so friendly and kind to humans?  Because they are smart...and probably delicious.  You show me a mean dolphin and I'll show you the next tasty half price appetizer at applebees.

Danny

Help me get hernia surgery...buy a t-shirt here! (now with more colors and styles)......if you don't then I'll just do it myself...hey theres no shame in bribery :) ...or home surgery for that matter.

I'm Sellin Out!! (t-shirts that is (tentatively))

For just the cost of a 5 pack of medium sized t shirts you could be the proud owner of a new Go GREEN T-shirt.  Cause the only thing more important than caring about the earth is letting everyone else know that you care!  Plus they're only 20 dollas! I would totally buy one of thes baby's if I had the money.  In fact I will as soon as about 8 or 9 of you people buy one!  Oh! and this isn't a joke...I mean it is, but it isn't...check it out.

http://www.cafepress.com/Dannyfindsajob

**update** Now with more colors and styles!

click here only $19.99

Does this count as a job?... Idk but at least i'm not a street t-shirt vendor...

Danny

How to make money! (but lets be real... probably not because we are all unmotivated and lazy)

Not that I should be giving anyone advice, but here is some great ways to make money in this crappy economy!

They say that alcohol and .....something else is recession proof...hmmm.... I don't remember what the other one was...we'll just say alcohol and .....liquor stores.  With that being said....MAKE SOME ALCOHOL ALREADY...seriously its not that hard and contrary to popular belief, its totally safe!  I'm doing my part by brewing beer....what are you doing to help save the economy?

Street entertainment is always a good way to make money... A key aspect of this is that you MUST be crazy...or good at acting crazy....WHy? Do you ask...well for two reasons actually...1. half of the poeple give you money because they enjoy the entertainment, and the other half because they are scared that you will attack them with your instrument or various other sharp objects that you most likely have in your pocket.  2. It also acts as a defense mechanism...cause who takes money from a crazy street performer person...seriously....they probably have aids. I would try my hand at this wonderful occupation but.....I don't have a guitar case...I could buy one but that would sort of defeat the purpose wouldn't it?

As far as I know there still is no crazy sales person guy for the shamwow...So theres an option...I think they got oxy clean covered though.

Thats about all I got for now.....But here is a quick money saving tip (more to come later)

"If its yellow its mello if its brown flush it down" no longer applies in our failed economy. It will hence forth be said ..."if its yellow its mellow.... if its brown scoop it out and put it into a different container, thus conserving water and saving this great nation."

Oh and I still don't have a job :(

Danny

Introduction

So i got lots of free time now that I don't have to go to school anymore.  So why not start a blog. Here goes nothing....seriously this blog will be about nothing...you have been forewarned..

I'm not really sure what it will be about yet.  It will be a smidgen of seriousness with a whole lot of sarcasm and crazy basement antics. Mostly just about how I like to kill time in my new basement abowed  (sp?....I mean like awesome place...sort of a thing...you get it) and weird ways that I try to make money (like starting a blog)

I will probably update this baby a few times a week...pending laziness...

In all seriousness, it is a tough job market out there and  am doing everything that I can think of to find the job that I want.  I sure there are several million people out there feeling the same way....If you have come here for advice on how to find a job....HA... good luck....cause it hasn't helped me yet...this is my story

I graduated in may with a degree in Civil Engineering (which means I'm an awesome writer as you can probably already tell) from Minnesota State University Mankato.  I currently work part time at a local bike shop establishment as I have throughout my college career.  I live in a basement in Mankato MN.  I refer to my awesome basement in many different ways (basecamp, the sment (not sement), the underground condo, giant laundry room, sleepy place, and my favorite..... casa de la small windows).  Its dark, cool, cozy, and soon to be radon free!

And thats officially the most writing I've done in months....baby steps...Nap time!

Danny